The quest for love -- and for the perfect partner -- is really a quest for wholeness. When speaking of spouses or significant others, people often refer to "my better half," or "my soul mate."

But how do you go about finding and nurturing this all-important relationship? How do you deal with obstacles to your happiness such as meddling in-laws and extended family squabbles?

Author Elizabeth Clare Prophet and co-author Patricia Spadaro give advice on these topics and more as they explore the spiritual dimension of love and relationships in three books from the popular series "Pocket Guides to Practical Spirituality," published by Summit University Press.

Prophet believes that the secret to attracting what we want is to start to become it ourselves. Rather than desiring to be loved, be love. If you want to increase your capacity to give and receive more love, start by giving more love to others. In this same way, you can work on your ideal relationship by becoming what you want to see in your partner. You can become the magnet that attracts the perfect relationship.

She also shows how compassion can overcome challenges and create a vibrant and healthy love relationship. In "Alchemy of the Heart," the authors outline how to cultivate compassion and forgiveness, which can help individuals understand the spiritual lessons inherent in any challenge. It is important to deal with problems as they arise, lest the energy of non-resolution build up, like layers of sedimentary rock, blocking the doors of the heart.

"Compassion doesn’t blame others for the circumstances we find ourself in, but shows us that it’s our reaction to those circumstances that matters most. It invites us to climb to a higher vantage point so we can meet our challenges from a new level," says Spadaro.

The authors also address how karma and reincarnation can affect you and your mate. "If we do not overcome the negatives of our karma, we can never enjoy complete happiness, Prophet says. A knowledge of karma and reincarnation can teach us a lot about our relationships -- some beautiful and some unpleasant, but all very necessary to our soul’s spiritual progress.

In "Soul Mates and Twin Flames," Prophet talks about three kinds of relationships:

* Twin flames, souls that were created together in the beginning, two halves of a divine whole.

* Soul mates, which are different from twin flames in that soul mates come together because they are working on mastering the same type of karma.

* Karmic partners, two people (who sometimes seem to have little in common) who are drawn together for the mastering of mutual karma.

Because marriages are often woven from the intricate threads of the partners’ past history together, recognizing the impact of your past and your partners past is important. In "Karma and Reincarnation," Spadaro advises asking yourself "Do I want to share in this person’s karma?" as you enter a new relationship.

This is an important question, because when we vow to support another "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health," that also means "in cycles of karma -- the good and the not so good." When you marry, you take on your partner’s karma in the sense that you have vowed to support him or her through thick and thin.

While this can be trying at times, Prophet offers ways to overcome challenges and create a vibrant and healthy love relationship. In "Alchemy of the Heart," she outlines how to cultivate compassion and forgiveness, which can help individuals understand the spiritual lessons inherent in any challenge.

In the end, Prophet says, one of the most important keys to a good relationship is to cultivate our unique relationship with our Higher Self and with God, and to help our partner do the same.

To read more about spirituality and relationships, ask for these books at fine bookstores everywhere, or visit www.summitlighthouse.org, the online bookstore of Summit University Press, for a complete list of books and audiotapes on spirituality and personal growth. Call (800) 245-5445 for a catalog.

Co-author Patricia Spadero is available for interviews. Contact Destyne Erickson, Communications Manager, The Summit Lighthouse at (800)245-5445 or derickson@tsl.org. Review copies of the books are available to editors upon request.