How to Make Your Love Last for a Lifetime

Happily Ever After?

According to Les and Leslie Parrot in Getting Ready for the Wedding (Zondervan Publishing House, 1998) many couples report that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. The commitment of "till death do we part," so exhilarating at first can sometimes feel suffocating. Whether you've been married for one year or twenty, you might find periods of frustration in your relationship. At times, you might feel disillusioned, disappointed, even angry. You may even begin to worry that you've made a mistake. Sometimes you don't feel much love at all towards your spouse; the relationship seems to have gone flat. You may feel jaded about marriage or wonder if you've fallen out of love.

Know that it is natural to feel this way. You are not alone in having doubts, or feeling disappointed as reality clashes with your expectations. However, after this stage of disillusionment can grow deep commitment to your spouse, based on life in the "real world." The honeymoon, or separation from the world, cannot last forever! The love and passion you experienced and extended towards one another can last when you build on a solid foundation and avoid potholes along the way.

Feelings are Not the Foundation

Remember the vows you made on your wedding day? Most likely you promised to love your husband or wife even in the event of dire circumstances. Traditional vows include words like "sickness and health" and "for richer or poorer" and so on. These vows are based upon trust, commitment, self-sacrifice and honor. Notice that words like "passion," "attraction," and "happiness" are missing from that last sentence.

Love--true love--is not based on feelings.

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